I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
