And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Pants are for mortals
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
