just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
