I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Randomize
