I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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