is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
