Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
