where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
