You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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