Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
We left an ass print on the piano.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize