Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
