I wish I could teleport
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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