so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
