Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
