Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
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