I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
