Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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