Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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