No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
