he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize