Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
