Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize