This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
