i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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