Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
