Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
