Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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