dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
We're using joints as your birthday candles
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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