Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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