Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Sorry about my life...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
