i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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