So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
