we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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