She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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