Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
only if we run a train.
done.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
