Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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