How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
