he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
Randomize
