you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
