i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
