New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
