Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
