Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize