watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
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