I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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