More tranny stories later!
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
