they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
