and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
