i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Church boner. Awkwardddd
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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