I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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