You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
