I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It's never too late to be topless.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
