The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
