Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize