You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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