just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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