It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
