we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
