Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
