no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize