There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
